Death of a (Computer) Salesman

My excuse for never updating is actually quite simple.

I died.

...well, my computer died. Same thing really.

And I mean like, dead dead. Not coming back dead.

I honestly have no idea how it happened either! There I was, minding my own business, looking up some random Youtube video or something when bam! blank screen.

Literally... that was it. And I'm fairly computer savvy. I don't go to virus-giving websites, I keep up my firewall, and I just generally don't behave like an idiot on the internet. I'm usually rich in blessings from the great computer gods for that last one, but no.

Bam. Dead. The end.

My dad said he might be able to fix it, but insisted that there really wasn't a point since my computer was a friggin' dinosaur.



Perhaps I'm being dramatic, but you get the picture.

So, I was told I'd be getting a new one. Eventually.

The next few weeks of my life are a bit fuzzy... I tend to suppress bad memories...

But then, a few days ago- bang! (notice I used "bang!" and not "bam!". There's a difference. Go with it.) My new baby was born! ...er delivered... sorta...




I'm sensing some progress.

Anyway, that's about it. Although I did see Harry Potter at midnight... and a pre-showing of a 3D movie based on a show I would never ever watch... and developed an addiction to Redvines... and lots of other totally awesome things.

Oh, and college. Well, that's not until next week. More on that later, eh?

Uh...

(I'll apologize in advance for this being the subject of my first post in months. I'll get to all the important stuff later. But this... was just too good not to share.)

I'll just cut to the chase:

The Breaking Dawn (Part 1) trailer came out the other day.




And I literally laughed out loud.

I can only hope, for the sake of the nice people who made it, that this is a joke and that the movie will not be this hilariously dramatic.

And then there's that part of me that wants it to be terrible, if only for my own amusement.

So congratulations Breaking Dawn movie! You're living up to your expectations just fine.

What I've been up to...

'Nuff said? Allow me to explain...

I directed a play! Er... music directed a play. ...let me rephrase that further- I was the musical director. Aw yes, much better.

Now, you're probably thinking something like, "But Shauntel, you're such an attention nut! Why in the world would you choose to take a management position and not to be on the stage?"

I'll answer that with a simple question- what am I doing in approximately two months and a week?

...Oh yeah, graduating.* Kind of a big deal.

See, I've always wanted to be a part of the management team, and this was honestly that last time I would ever for sure get a chance to do that. It's an experience I'd always wanted to have, so I took a leap of faith and did it.

And you know what? I had a blast. No regrets on that one. Pictures (hopefully) to follow. (Or you could just, you know, look at my Facebook or something...)

So yeah, that's been my life since January (it ended about two weeks ago... hence the lack of blogging. In all seriousness, I have not had a brain at all in that time. Everything non-vocal training related either A) went down the toilet, or B) was dealt with poorly...). Spring break, for a variety of reasons, could not have come at a better time.

But you know what spring break means? No school! And you know what that means? Books!! (And also 12 hour Lord of the Rings extended edition marathons. But that's besides the point.) So yeah, I've actually been reading. Quite a bit actually. (I have most definitely not abandoned my new book blog! It shall be updated in due time... But in the meantime, I'll give you snippets of what's to come.)


Finally finished the Mortal Instruments series (although I guess their author is going to write more of them... I'll probably end up giving them a shot.). And you know what? I ended up really enjoying them. The third one was easily the best of the three, and I actually legitimately liked it. I complained rather loudly in the review of the first one that there were too many characters with no actual purpose. Well... most of them had a point by the end. (There are still a few who I just don't understand why they were even written.... But whatever, I'll still just go with it.) So yeah- this series is officially recommended. So go get it. Right now.








I also read Hero, by Perry Moore, and am absolutely in love. Alright, it wasn't perfect (a couple of the secrets just weren't secret enough, and it got a wee bit too trigger happy at the end) but come on- it's comic book superheros in regular book format. And yes, I mean the super cheesy, catch-phrase spouting, spandex wearing ones. It simply does not get any better than this, people. It's not exactly a secret that I'm a total sucker for superheroes, and this could be the beginning of a whole new genre. *crosses fingers*




I pride myself in having very tough skin. Very rarely do I actually cringe at something horrifying and/or disturbing and/or scandalous that happens in a book. But this... *shudders* Lord of the White Hell went as far as to combine some of those categories. Cheesy cover aside, this is not a YA book. Can I just leave it at that? (Plus it had a terribly cruel ending. Which is lame, because I totally saw it coming, yet I couldn't help but throw a fit anyway. And then the sequel wasn't at the library. Or at the bookstore. I'm still waiting for it to come in the mail. Is it trying to torture me further?)**

Point is, I might have to break out the sharpie for this one.






I just started The Book Thief not too long ago, so nothing much to say yet except that it is very good. Go read it. I'll elaborate further when I can.






(No, I didn't read all of these in a week. There are just some of the things I've read since January. Keyword, of course, being some. The ones with interesting back stories that is.)

Oh! My ADD brain just remembered- research papers. I hate them. I just finished this huge (not really) one on the short story EPICAC and let me tell you... that was the single most painful thing I have ever had to write. I just... with every fiber of my being, I didn't want to do it. There wasn't any reason- I just really, really didn't want to. That's what happens when homework gets assigned on the holy period of rest that is spring break. It's... not cool. Not cool at all.

And because I'm such a responsible student, I started it about two days ago and barely finished it this evening. (My school is awesome and doesn't go back until Tuesday.) So yeah... EPICAC... supercomputer... I'm just gonna stop right there.

Oh! I dyed my hair. Booyah! First time ever too. If I can ever take a decent picture, I'll put one up. In the meantime, I'll just say that it's red...ish. And also blonde streaked. Double wammy. So yeah, 'tis awesome.

But yeah, school tomorrow. At least I have my after school time back... for now...

*sigh* Easter Pageant starts next week. Don't get me wrong- I'm super excited. But... it is one more thing I have to prepare for.

(Scholarship auditions, concerts, school projects... where did my life go?)


*Woah. I'd never actually calculated the exact time until now. Nine weeks... May 26th... Hot dang- I'm officially old.

**I just made the book sound terrible, didn't I. No, no- there are so many good things about it. The plot, the politics, the world... Crazy good. And the characters- *~amazing~*. I honestly cannot speak more highly of its good aspects.

But hot dang- why must all the best books be so unrecommendable?

(Wicked... Watchmen... heck, even the Bible when you think about it...)

Random Blurb: That New Metroid Game

(In case anyone is concerned, one of my New Year's Resolutions was to actually blog. So yeah.)

As is normal, when my brother got Metroid: Other M for Christmas, I was the only one who actually played it. Same old same old really. What I didn't expect was for it to-

Oh, what was that Adam? I have your permission to put up a picture now?


Much better. Anyway, what I didn't expect was for it to be so story driven. For any of you Metroid veterans out there, you know what I'm talking about. Metroid games have always focused on the action and weaponry- in this one, Samus even has a voice actress. And she inner-monologues... all the time... Which is fine I guess... I mean, she's been silent for the last 30 years or so- it's about time she got her opinions out there.

But to be entirely honest, I almost preferred it when she didn't talk. Because then at least-

Oh, what was that Adam? I have your permission to begin criticizing? You're just too good to me.

At least she could use mutism as an excuse not to stand up for herself.

'Cause I mean SERIOUSLY woman! Aren't you the most feared/respected bounty hunter in the galaxy? Haven't you faced countless alien onslaughts? Haven't you defeated some of the most feared villains in the universe?

And yet you lack the self-respect to stand up to major douche-

Oh, what was that Adam? No, no- I wasn't talking about you. I would never do anything as horrible as that.

I have your permission to begin analysis of positive things? You are a saint.

The story (which is still pretty awesome) begins with our hero, Samus Aran, flying around in her spaceship (Why? Because she can.) when she receives a distress signal from a nearby space station. She decides to investigate and ends up coming across a group of soldiers from the Galactic Federation who also responded to the signal. Turns out, *cue flashback* she used to know some of these guys back when she herself formerly worked for the GF (key words being "used to" and "formerly"). The leader of this mission turns out to be her former commanding officer Adam Malkovich. And let me tell you, they slip right back into those old roles real fast.

Somethin' fishy's going on at the space station, so Samus agrees to stick around and help these poor losers out. But then, they all start being picked off one by one by an unknown traitor.

So yeah, a bit of a mystery going on there.

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... Sorry, I was just waiting for Adam to give me permission to talk about gameplay... Any second now...



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Aw, ok we're good. Thank you Adam.

The gameplay's super fun. The targeting system is different (if any of you nerds out there have played Shadow the Hedgehog, it feels a lot like that. 'Cept better), but it still works. It's third person mostly, with random little bits of first thrown in there. It was kind of weird actually. But whatev. My only guff is that it went from super easy to fetchin' hard way to fast. I mean, here I am just walking along when HOLY CRAP THERE'S A GIANT WORM THING AND IT POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND ATE ME!!! And then I died.

What was that Adam? Oh, that's right- I don't have permission to write in all caps. Sorry. Can I do it now? No??

That's my other guff- I felt like in some parts you had to die in order to get a feel for what was going on. Which is kinda' dumb if you ask me.

There were a lot of moments of me yelling at my sister to fire-up the walkthrough and read to me how to beat all the bosses. And I mean a lot of moments. Because there were a lot of bosses. (Just ask her- I think she's emotionally scarred, poor thing.)

So, what am I getting at? All other complaints aside, the game is legitimately fun to play. Just, you know... keep the internet handy...

So... do I have your permission to talk about weapon upgrades Adam? No? That's cool... I'll just wait...

...

Oh, now I do?

I understand why they made weapon upgrades unusable as opposed to being conveniently nonexistant like in other games (Samus can only trip and misplace her plasma beam so many times). But couldn't they have done a better job? Take this actual scene for example:

Samus: Wow, I've died like, five time from drowning in lava. Too bad there isn't any sort of upgrade to help me withstand heat.

Later...

Samus: Wow, I've been shooting these flame-shooting aliens a long time. Too bad there isn't any sort of upgrade to help me withstand heat.

Later...

Samus: Wow, the lava level is rising really fast! I might die if I get caught in it. Too bad there isn't any sort of upgrade to help me withstand heat.

Giant flame-spurting lava monster appears.

Adam: Samus- quick! I'm authorizing use of your super awesome heat resistant suit!

Samus: Oh, Adam- you're my hero!

Shauntel: *facepalm*

I might've paraphrased a bit.

That's where all my problems with the game stem from- Adam "Douchebag" Malkovitch. (That, and Samus freaking out when she sees Ridley, but that's a whole different can of worms.) And the way he turns the galaxy's most feared/respected bounty hunter into a bullied housewife. It's embarrassing.

You can tell the game programmers weren't aiming for this. He's supposed to come off as noble and somewhat parental (Samus, in one of her many inner-monologues, comments on how she viewed him as a father... *cue possible Electra-complex*). I can totally see how that might've happened. But, they failed miserably and he's just a jerk instead.

If this were a movie, it would suck. If there were no dialogue, it would be amazing. I'm torn on my overall opinion as a result. I just think that-

Oh, what was that Adam? I don't have your permission? This is why we're friends Adam- this is why we're friends.*
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My siblings later pointed this comic out to me:

Click to enlarge

Credit goes to Brawl in the Family for summing up my point perfectly.

*This is why I didn't cry when you died Adam- this is why I didn't cry.
*sigh* But then we all know how well people stay dead in these sort of games...