My Newst Project

No, I'm not dead. Yes, I'll give a life update sometime. I've been busy. Despicably busy.

But that's a post for a different time.

I'd like to officially unveal...

*~Snarky Teen Book Reviews~*

aka, my new blog dedicated exclusively to books. Should be fun.

Check it out, it's already been updated: http://snarkyteenbookreviews.blogspot.com/

Will I transfer the old reviews over? Doubtful. Will I rewrite some of the older ones as to give them more justice? Quite possibly.

Book Review: Havemercy

*Edited Slightly*

Turns out, you can judge a book by its cover:



Why yes, that is a giant mechanical dragon. I'm glad you noticed. Because I did too, which is what made me pick up this book.

Also, reading this book is arguably one of the best decision I've ever made. So yeah.

THE BASICS: Hot dang, what isn't going on in this book? Well, first off, there's this magician guy named Royston who did something... scandalous* and has not only put the kingdom at odds with one of it's neighbors, but has also seriously embarrassed the royal family. So much so, actually, that they can't punish him for it or they risk news of it getting out to even more people. So, instead, they quietly exile him to the countryside to live with his brother until, well, forever. Royston in every way despises the country however, so the "punishment" seems to have proven effective on some level. While in the country, he meets Hal, the painfully shy yet startlingly intelligent tutor to his brother's children. We'll talk about more about them later...

...because word of the scandal does get out and it soon falls upon the ears of the worst possible secret keepers: the Dragon Corps. This is a group of the most BA and most ill-mannered, yet strangely awesome dudes you will ever see. They, of course, ride the previously mentioned giant mechanical dragons. Anyway, they have more than a little bit of fun playing with and joking about what happened. This spurs th'Esar (the king, essentially) to send an unlucky individual named Thom to coax them into shutting up about the whole affair and to also spy on them (because seriously, can you really blame him for not trusting them? I mean, sure, he's the king, but they've got giant mechanical dragons. Who's ruling who?).

Oh, also, there's a war going on. Yeah, it's been happening for like, a hundred years or something. So yeah, like I said, lots of stuff happenin'.

THE CHARACTERS: This is, I think, the novel's greatest strength; that is, the sheer complexity of all of it's characters. And I mean all. Even side characters, even people you meet only once or twice- you really get the impression that the authors made an attempt not to create any empty shells of characters. From their speech patterns to their little physical quirks the main characters comment on- you can tell some time was spent humanizing everyone. But, and thank goodness for this, it isn't done to any extreme, annoying degree. We don't get the backstory for every single person who walks onto the stage. Heck, we hardly get the backstory for the four main characters. I mean we do, but only the necessary parts. People don't angst much in this book, which is a dramatic improvement of some over the other things I've been reading lately (but that's a post of a different color).

But, like I said, there're four main characters: Royston, a sarcastic magician, Hal, a young, somewhat naive tutor, Rook, an obnoxious, irreverent airman, and Thom, a long-suffering, yet somewhat conniving student. Let me just say first that I pretty much love all of these guys.

However, I really just want to focus on Hal.

Hal is the kind of character I hate. When he first entered the story and started doing his thing, I was like "Oh great, another twink. I hate you already, you sniveling little girl you!" But then I totally ate my words when he turned out to be sorta... not lame. Actually, and this is the really weird part since I usually like the jerk characters, I think he ended up being my favorite. Somehow, he dared to tread through the winding paths of my cold, black heart and ended up finding a nice warm place to stay.

Why do I like him so much? Because there were so many stereotypes he could've easily fallen into... and yet he miraculously avoided them all. As I mentioned previously, he's painfully shy. But he still has a spine. He's very soft-spoken and kind-hearted. But by no means is he a wuss. And if he wants something, he's not afraid to try and get it. I think the most applauding instance of this is when he's the one who initiates the romantic relationship between he and his love interest. Because usually, the shy person, no matter what gender, when met with their significant other, just angsts around and whines about how horrible everything is because so-and-so could never love them. Until, of course, so-and-so does admit to loving them and then of course everything is primroses and butterflies. *sigh* It's embarrassing how formulaic it is.

Which is another reason I love Hal, 'cause his romantic subplot is, for this and other reasons, entirely non-typical.

TECHNICAL STUFF: The book alternates between four viewpoints- namely, that of the four aforementioned main characters. They label at the beginning of each section who's talking, but honestly, it's unnecessary, because each character's personalities and thought patterns are distinct enough that you can usually pick up on them after a few sentences.

THE THEME: Things are not always as they appear? Don't judge people without getting to know them? Be willing to make your own destiny? Anything along those lines would fit.

OVERALL: I actually do have one tiny, somewhat irrational guff with this book- there're almost no girls in it. Seriously. I mean, there are a few, but when I say few, I mean like, three. In the entire book. Which, considering there are 25+ male types, is quite the imbalance.

But whatever; that didn't actually stand out as much as you would think.

However, with the exception of that mild misdemeanor, I have never read a book that pandered to me as much as this one did. This is the first book I've ever read where I was truly the target audience. Was the plot complex and intertwining? Yep. Was the romance actually sweet? Check. Were even the most obnoxious of characters instantly likable due to good writing? Si. Was it taboo without being naughty? You betcha. Was it flamin' hilarious? Heck yeah! I can honestly say that I have never read a book in my life that I actually cared about every single plot. I was never bored while reading this. This is what we call an anomaly.

Point is, this thing just soared to the top of my favorite list. Did it dethrone Hannibal? ...okay no, it didn't. But it's gleefully sitting right below it, just waiting for it to make a wrong move.

GRADE: Not giving one. 'Cause like I said, I can't speak for the masses on this one. This book followed plot threads that were appealing to me. Not you. Unless you're cool, in which case, you'll love this book.

Would I let my sister read it? No
Would I let my cousin read it? Yes
Would I let my dad read it? Yes

PS: The title refers to the name of Rook's dragon. Just sayin'.

EDIT

*(I've been playing around with font-colors lately... and felt very stupid when I realized I could've just been doing this all along for spoilers.)

*smacks forehead* Technology never fails to amaze me.

Anyway, it's actually not a spoiler, but highlighting the information below will definitely cue you in on whether or not this book is for you.

Royston had a love-affair with the heir-apparent of an ally kingdom. This was bad enough, except that, after being caught, he was accused of magically seducing the individual. To make matters even worse, the individual's name was Erik.

'Cause I Saw Eclipse

K, I'm about to make a blasphemous statement, so just hold on to your seats alright peeps?

*deep breath* Well... I saw Eclipse... See, now I should just leave it at that and just let you assume the laughs but yeah, okay, that's not exactly fair now is it?

Okay... I can do this. I'd appreciate it if you didn't hate me for this...

Well... Eclipse wasn't really...

Dang, this is more difficult than I thought.

*'nother deep breath* It wasn't that bad.

Woosh, alright. Okay, okay, yes I know, the horror. But, I'm not going to lie and say it was apocalypticly bad when it wasn't.

Now was it good? You'd have to be a fan of the genre to think that. And I'm not. So no, my biased opinion claims nay, but it wasn't painful to watch or anything. How about this: It was decent.

Fair enough?

Now, hold your tomatoes and let me explain why I think this. There were a lot of things about Eclipse the book that I disliked. Lots of random, going nowhere plot points, characters I didn't care about, and, to be perfectly honest, blatant sexism in a few places. Not cool. Not cool at all.

Well, the director of Eclipse must've agreed with me, because he took those things and either quietly did away with them or changed them so they weren't so stupid. For example, *for anyone who actually cares, there's a SPOILER ahead* near the end of the book, Edward and Seth (some werewolf punk) are facing off with an evil vampire who wants to kill Bella. Seth apparently gets injured and things aren't looking so hot for our favorite sparklepire so Bella decides to be all noble and distract the evil vampire by stabbing herself in the heart and letting the blood drive the vampire nuts. if I'm remembering this correctly (I mean, when did I last read the book?) she's stopped somehow, evil vampire dies anyway, and the world is happy. Later, Edwardo gets all PO'd at her and says that Seth was only feigning injury or something and that he himself was fine and she was being stupid and yada yada yada. So, to summarize, Bells (although she approaches it wrong) decides to be useful, and gets blasted for it. The entire scene was useless- it built up to something that didn't actually happen...

In the movie, same scene happens however, Bella is smart and realizes that in cutting yourself, you don't actually have to die, so she cuts her arm instead (she's not stopped, since Edward's in a bit of a scrape), thus distracting the not-so-nice but still sparkly vampire and allowing Edward to remove her of her head. So, same scene, just... smart? Oh yeah, and she doesn't get yelled at for it later either.

Jacob is kind of a tool, but he was a tool in the book too (a distinct contrast from his personality in the second one where he was a goober, but a harmless one- a sign of bad writing indeed) so I can't really fault anyone for that. To be quite frank, in regards to the little love triangle between Edward, Bella, and Jacob, I don't think Bella should have picked either of them. One's a depressing control freak and the other one's a prick. (Seriously, when I guy takes out the engine of your car to prevent you from seeing someone, that really ought to raise a red flag.)

But was it horrible? No, not at all. It was alright. It took the idea of the book, removed all the crap, added a few jokes, and converted it into a movie that won't make your eyes bleed. It was easily better than it's predecessors (not that that's hard, although New Moon wasn't completely awful either, it was just lame) and, although I probably won't watch it again, I can't quite fault anyone for liking it.

Breaking Dawn? Now that I'm excited for. Seriously, that book was bad. I mean, really bad. I'm hoping for a few unintentional laughs if that's-

Wait, it's being directed by Bill Condon? That same guy who did Dreamgirls and Chicago?! Both of which won several Academy Awards?!?!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, they're copying Harry Potter 7 and splitting it into two movies?

But, but, but, but- WHY???

Nevermind. Not excited. Goodbye.

In Which I Haven't Updated in Way Too Long...

So yeah... sorry 'bout that. No, I'm not dead or anything. Just lazy.

So yeah, summer. Whoosh. Let me tell you, I have honestly been gone every other week. Which is totally weird frankly- I've never been gone this much in the summer time. Actually, by the time school starts, I'll have been gone a grand total of five weeks. There's eight weeks of summer. Do the math.

First vacation- Girl's Camp. Which was okay... I guess... The theme was very cool- superheroes- so there's some good stuff there. Every ward was supposed to pick a superhero as sorta our mascot, and ours was Optimus Prime. Once again, very cool. Some of the other wards picked liked, Wonder Woman, Super Girl, stuff like that, all of which are legit and cool too. One of them picked Rosie the Riveter randomly. I was kind of like "what?" but I ended up accepting it once I saw some of the laughable stuff the other wards had picked. Some of them I guess decided it was okay to start making up their own so we ended up with things like "Virtue Girls" and "Shikara" (which I guess for all I know could actually be a real one, but she's drawn in Japanese anime style so I'm automatically entitled to make fun of it anyway). Also, one of them picked the "Fair Maidens". *sigh* I don't know how you get princesses out of superheroes (Xena: Warrior Princess maybe? But if that was point... well they obviously missed it.) but I guess it was bound to happen.

Haha funny story. Our camp, with our Optimus Prime, was stationed right next to the "Fair Maidens" camp. And trust me, the two campsites... well, you could say they looked very different. To give you an idea, this was our logo:
...and theirs went something like this:
So yeah... I think they missed the point.

Second vacation- EFY. I'd never been before so this was all a new experience for me. Two of my best friends on the face of the planet were going to be there, (one of whom was to be my roommate) so that had pretty much guaranteed before hand that even if it sucked, it couldn't be all that bad. It didn't suck, but I think it deserves it's own post, so I'll save the details.

Third vacation- Ramah, New Mexico. I've been there at least a million times, but it always manages to be fun. More details later? That would probably be easiest.

But anyway, the here and now! Fourth vacation- Washington. Well, I'm currently in Utah, but that's besides the point. I'm staying with my uncle and aunt currently (Dallan and Stephanie, for those who are curious) and so far it's been pretty fun. I've pretty much been (literally) bombarded by my cousins with love and hugs (my sleeve is being violently tugged on as I speak... er write) but they love me so it's cool.

Haha, another funny story. So the last time I saw my cousins, they stayed at my house for a week. I had them watch Cats. Soooooo, I walk in the door two days ago and the first thing the older one says to me, at 100 works a minute, is "Oh Shauntel! I love that Cats movie you showed me; I think I'm going to buy it." Not a "hi" or a "sup" or even a "what are you doing here you freak", just a, well, that. Stephanie explained to me that ever since they watched it, they've listened to it non stop and kept the DVD for months when they rented it. She's happy with it though. As am I. I'm actually rather proud of myself for converting them.

Anyway I suppose I sorta lied since I'm not actually in Washington yet, but I'll get there eventually. It's funny though. I mean, I'm in Utah. And as most people know, I like to make fun of Utah. It's fun. However, I'm quickly running out of fodder, since so far all the stuff I've seen has been awesome. Plus, you can look at the sky (which, turns out, is blue, and not grayish) and not hurt your eyes.

Also, everything is green. It's kinda weirding me out.

But whatev. That's the Arizonian in me speaking. And we all know Arizona is still the best state ever.

In Which I Am (or at least, will be in) "The Brute"

As I mentioned on one of my little random side comments about three weeks ago, I'm in a play, I got the lead, and it's actually coming together. The show's this weekend actually- Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, at 7 in my school's auditorium. This is part of the reason I haven't really been updating- I've been a bit busy with lines due to the fact that there's only three people in the show. It's a one act, but still; it's a lot.

Anyway, I'm just advertising for the sake of advertising. You don't have to come, although it would be awesome if you did.

(PS, just so you don't feel like you're being jiped money-wise, I should mention that it's a double feature show. My show is a one act, and we're followed by another one act play that's just a touch longer. Both are comedies, so it'll be entertaining.)

Anyway, it's $2 for students and $3 for adults. I'll put up at least one video once it's over though, for those who are lame and don't come. (Yes, more than one of my readers live in Washington. That's no excuse.)

...

So what, you want me to say something funny? Needy much? Fine, I'll give you a hint at a future project. At this point, I'm probably going to do an entire post devoted to the art of stage kissing. Just sayin'.

Book Review: And Tango Makes Three

Because I'm lazy and easily entertained, I love reading children's books. Always have, always will. I still harbor a great love for authors such as Roald Dahl, Dr. Seuss, etc.

And on another note, I always make an attempt to scan the banned books list to see if they've added anything new. When I say the best stuff is on that list (Huckleberry Finn, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Of Mice and Men, 1984, etc.) I honestly mean that.

And on a third note, everyone likes penguins right?

What do those three things have in common? And Tango Makes Three that's what. Thus, I knew I had to read it.


THE BASICS: This book tells the tale of two cute little penguins living in Central Park Zoo named Roy and Silo who fall in love and are given an egg to raise by the zookeepers. The twist: Roy and Silo are both guys. The other twist: it's a true story.

THE CHARACTERS: Gay animals, although rare, do exist and Roy and Silo have become somewhat of a mascot for them. The duo are portrayed in a typical, children's book esque manner- cute, fluffy, and well-meaning. It's true that the real life story doesn't end quite as happily as the book implies (after a six year long relationship, Silo ran off with Scrappy, a female, leaving poor Roy alone and depressed to this day) but that's not the point of the book. Stories are watered down and happyfied all the time for children, so I find it perfectly fair that it's done to this one.

TECHNICAL STUFF: The language is simple but engaging and does a fabulous job at relating the endearing little tale. The illustrations might very well be my favorite part- it's been somewhat of a recent trend in children's books to contain suckish drawings, but And Tango Makes Three avoids this falling, and instead holds some of the cutest drawings I've seen in a kids book. Maybe it's just 'cause their penguins, which are adorable pretty much however you draw them. But either way, the illustrations are great.

THE THEME: And this is where the controversy falls. And Tango Makes Three portrays a child being raised by two fathers (and that part is true no matter how you view it; Roy and Silo broke up long after their daughter became an adult). However, what the haters hate to here is this: this book doesn't not actually encourage homosexuality. It simply presents it (Mildly, I should add, the fact that their both males is only touched upon. Tango is the focus of the story.) and then moves on and tells the story. The real theme of the story? Family love. It's about parents loving their child. And isn't that what you'd what to present to your children?

OVERALL: I love this book. I say that a lot. But rarely does the statement fit so accurately. I wish that instead of reading the undeserved, scathing reviews regarding it's themes (because they all have to admit that from a technical standpoint, the book is very well done) written by people who like to get into a tussle about stupid things, people would instead actually read the book. It took me about two minutes at the library to read through. And you know what? It was one of the best two minutes of my life.

GRADE: A

Would I let my sister read it? Totally. Not ever up for questioning.
Would I let my cousin read it? Yes.
Would I let my dad read it? Yes.

Random Blurb: The Sims 2

As you've probably gathered by now, I get bored a lot. I mentioned previously that I've recently come across this thing known as "time", although the more accurate term would be labeled "free time", and, as you've also probably figured out either from previous posts or from the title of this one, I do strange things when I'm bored. Such as play Sims 2.
Aw Sims 2. How I really generally despise thee so. Except sometimes when I enjoy you. It's not a healthy relationship.

Anyway, my sister's got this game about a year ago. I played it for two days, got bored, and never touched it again.

That is, until Christmas, when my sister's got the Pets Expansion.

(That's one thing that kind of bugs me about the game. I mean, you buy the game itself, but it's not actually fun until you starting paying for all the various expansions, which I swear, pretty much cover every subject known to man. You got Sims Nightlife, Sims Pets, Sims "Open for Business", Sims HotDate, Sims University, Sims Season, etc. I swear, the list does not end.)

Anyway, them getting this expansion reminded me that we actually owned the game, and I, being the strange sadist that I am, started thinking. And, as you know, that can be very dangerous. I started wondering about all the horrible, twisted, borderline-illegal things you could potentially do on this game, and decided to give it a nasty whirl. So, I created a family with varying ages, genders, and relationships, and went on my merry way.

Sadly, it wasn't as scandalous as I thought.

You can't do anything illegal (no incest, no adult/child relationships- Hey, don't give me that look. These are fake, computer people K? You would try these things too), and although you can be a professional thief as a career, you can't actually follow them to work, so I don't really know all the details of their jobs. I don't have that expansion pack.

However, you can have gay sims, make your sims have affairs, make your sims have like, 50 different lovers, etc. I'm actually rather impressed with the amount of freedom you do have. Most people based video games (I'm looking at you Harvest Moon, bane of my existence that you are, but that's a post of a different color) generally have a set amount of goals or a place you'll end up or even just a plot in general. Not so for this one. Within the bounds of legality, you're pretty much limitless. Especially if you cheat, which frankly, is the only fun way to play this game.

Also, building houses is actually way entertaining. Seriously, I've built some pretty bombin' things.

So you're probably thinking, "Shauntel, you've really only said good things so far about this game. Doesn't that make it, you know, good?" The answer is yes... and no. My biggest question/concern is "who the heck was this thing meant for"?

Understand, this is something I only play maybe twice a month. Most teenagers would probably play only slightly more, more than likely less if not at all. Adults would have little interest. So is it for kids? No, 'cause this game is kinda naughty. Can it be played innocently? Sure. But will it be? Naw.

So that's really the question of the universe at this point: Why? Why does this game exist? Why do people think it's fun?

Admittedly I don't really know. What I do know is that it does exist and that it is fun.

Sometimes.

Anyway, I gots ta go. Two of my lovely gay sims (they're not "married"- apparently it's referred to as "joined") are in the process of adopting another baby. So yeah.

PS: I like comments. You should leave some. Just so I know you're there.

My ACT Adventure

As you probably gathered from the title, I took the ACT test. And let me tell you, it was.... interesting.

Saturday: April 10th:

5:05 AM- My alarm clock starts blaring annoyingly. I shut it off, and mentally smack myself for forgetting to turn it off.

6:45 AM- My mother enters my room and wakes me up. Sorta. But I, being a teenager...

7:00 AM- ...take at least 10-15 minutes longer than the rest of the world to actually become conscious.

7:15 AM- I'm totally prettied up and ready to leave.

7:25 AM- Mom and I drive through McDonald's for breakfast. I marvel at just how greasy the wrapper is.

7:35 AM- I arrive at the school giving the test.

7:36 AM- I'm really mad about how long the line is to register. I mean seriously, it's fifty feet long and I'm a half hour early!

7:37 AM- I text my friend. WTF R U?!?!????

7:39 AM- I spot the friend in question. She's 49 feet ahead of me in line.

7:55 AM- I finally reach the registration desk. So far, so good.

8:08 AM- One of my buddies asks me to check the time. We all wonder why in the heck we havn't been let into the building, despite being 8 minutes overtime.

8:10 AM- Two of my friends, one wearing a Team Edward shirt, the other sporting Team Jacob, start dissing the other's clothing.

8:11 AM- I bring up Jacob's airbrushed abs and Edward's unnervingly bi-colored nipples. Neither of them can disagree.

8:20 AM- We're finally let into the test center and split up into rooms. Only one of my friends is with me.

8:30 AM- We're assigned seats and given a booklet and answer document. We're then informed we have to wait some more because two of the peeps in our room haven't arrived yet.

8:45 AM- We start without them.

9:00 AM- We finally- finally- get through filling out the stupid thing and hearing the proctor read the instructions 36 times. I open my booklet...

9:02 AM- I realize, with joy, that the entire first section is on grammar. I smile, knowing this will be a breeze.

9:17 AM- The freaking "Hosanna" song from Jesus Christ Superstar is stuck in my head. It's very distracting.

9:45 AM- The proctor announces it's time to stop testing. I'm happy, because I finished 5 minutes ago and seriously knew the answer to every single one. Yay for potential scholarships.

9:46 AM- I realize, amusingly, that none of the students will stand up during the short break between tests unless someone else does it first. Tired of sitting, I decide to be that someone.

9:55 AM- The math test is next. I mentally groan.

9:56 AM- I realize delightfully that I know how to do the first problem. Maybe this won't be so bad afterall.

9:57 AM- Nevermind. It's bad.

10:21 AM- This time, "One Song Glory" from Rent is playing in my head. Strangely, it's the German version that keeps running through, which is actually good. The words don't distract me so much (since I can't, you know, understand them) and, as much as I love Adam Pascal from the English one, nothing beats Roger when he's played by the gorgeousness that is John Partridge. 'Cept for maybe when he was Electra. Or maybe when he was in that opera. That was in German too...

10:22 AM- I realize I should probably be focusing on irrational numbers as opposed to irrational loves...

10:55 AM- The test is over. My brain starts to melt out my ears.

10:56 AM- We're allowed to wander the hallways for ten minutes and get our minds off the test. It doesn't work.

11:08 AM- My friend and I creep back into the testing room and pray that the proctor lady doesn't notice we were late. She doesn't.

11:09 AM- As the teacher continues explaining the ridiculous amount of rules surrounding the test, my mind starts to wander. I think about how grateful I am that, despite the minor distractions the previous songs in my head had caused, there hadn't yet been anything detrimentally annoying or distracting lodged in there yet. Such as "Sweet Trans-" Crap. No. Get out!

11:10 AM- Start on the reading comprehension test. No big deal right? Sure, until you factor in that we only have 35 minutes. And 40 questions. Which, you know, wouldn't be a big deal (we had like 70 questions and 45 minutes for the grammar test) 'cept we have to read some stupid 2 page essay before answering the questions. And there's like 5 of them. Whee...

11:28 AM- The proctor announces the halfway point. I realize, in surprise and horror (Rocky Horror that is, 'cause that song is still there), that I'm exactly halfway done and had better get a move on if I'm going to finish with any time left over.

11: 35 AM- Shut up Tim Curry. Just shut up.*

11: 45 AM- The reading comprehension test is over. And oh my gosh my heart is pounding. I seriously was like speeding. See, I probably would have done great if they'd, you know, not given me less than a minute per question maybe? I mean really guys. Ridiculous.

11: 46 AM- Eh, the science test. I'm not worried. More curious than anything. 'Cause seriously, what's even going to be on it?

11:47 AM- Aw fudgemonkey. Graphs. So no, it's not science. It's basically math comprehension. Which I suppose is appropriate since the previous was reading comprehension, but still. Come on.

12:01 PM- Oh my gosh. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. I am so behind.

12:07 PM- Have finally accepted that I'm not actually going to finish in time. Time to make pictures with the bubble answers!

12:08 PM- I've decided drawing pictures probably isn't the best way to fudge on a college entrance exam...

12:10 PM- Have resorted to simply skipping all the questions I don't know. Might as well do what I can right?

12:13 PM- Realize that my blood sugar has dropped to "eat you moron, or you're gonna collapse" level.

12:20 PM- The time is up for the "science" test. And if you thought my heart rate has high before...

12:21 PM- Our booklets are collected. We're allowed a few minutes break before the essay portion.

12:30 PM- The essay prompt is passed out, but it's sealed shut. I pray that it's actually something I care about.

12:31 PM-(The following portion has been deleted due to the fact that I'm not supposed to disclose the topic for the essay. Yeah stupid, I know, but I'd like my test to be valid thank you very much.)

12:55 PM- I'm done with the essay, and darn if it weren't easy.

1:00 PM- Time is up for the essay. Suddenly it dawns on me- I'm done. I'm free!

1:01 PM- I'm not free. 'Cause I still have to wait for mom to show up...

1:08 PM- K, I'm free. For realz this time. And oh my gosh I'm exhausted. I realize that my plans for finishing my homework this evening are probably null and void...

1:15 PM- Mommy and I eat at Chipotle. And it's delicious. Also, we feed the little birdies some rice. And it's cute to watch them.

Whew, and that's it. Let us pray I never have to do it again...

*No offense to Tim Curry. I usually like him. It's just that, at that moment, he was singing what will go down in history as probably the most distracting song in the history of the universe. Sorry Dr. Frank, but your song has no melody.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/news/2010-03-30-breetanner30_ST_N.htm

Just... no. Just no.

Oh, and this gem:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0759529434?ie=UTF8&tag=stepheniemeye-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0759529434

I say we drive a stake through this once and for all. *Sigh*

This thing just won't die will it?

My Top 10 Favorite Musical Songs

Like I said before, I'm back from my blogging hiatus and I'm here to tell you some more of my totally biased opinions. But this time, its in the form of song!

Literally. I'm mean, we are talking about music here. Aw whatever, lame joke alert. Just pity laugh K?

Anyway, here is a list of my top 10 favorite songs ever from a musical.

(But before that, I'd like to explain something. In order to avoid picking too many songs from the same musical, I picked what I thought was the best song from said musical. This was done based off music style, the tone, what effect it has on the show, and just pure likability. For example, despite my love of "Popular" from Wicked, I like "Defying Gravity" better. So despite liking "Gravity" better than say, "Castle on a Cloud", its still not on the list. Get it? Got it? Good.)

10. El Tango de Roxanne from Moulin Rouge* - This song is seriously intense. Why? Because jealousy is an intense emotion. Which is why this song works so well.

9. Castle on Cloud from Les Miserables - This falls into the genre of "tragically adorable". I mean really, you just wanna give this poor little girl a hug. You simply can't not have your heart broken when you hear it. (Also, from a technical standpoint, I like it because its in the key of A Minor, which means, pianoistically speaking, there're no sharps or flats. That is a definite win.)

8. Go Go Go Joseph from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - It starts on gorgeous, it ends on awesome. Plus it tells like three different stories throughout the song's running. That is very cool with me.

7. The Tango Maureen from Rent* - A song a guy sings regarding his cheating ex-girlfriend to her new girlfriend. Simply the premise of the song tells you its gonna be entertaining.

6. Everyone's a Little Bit Racist from Avenue Q* - Equipped with a biting message and a catchy little tune, this lovely little song is actually probably the least offensive song from the musical. That isn't why I picked it thought; I just pretty much love it.

5. By the Sea from Sweeney Todd* - In a show so dark and packed full of horrible happenings, this hilariously upbeat song completely offsets the entire show. Its all about one of the character's dream of living, well, by the sea someday. The movie version films it in an especially humorous manner- the colors and costumes are almost obnoxiously bright and cheery, despite the characters maintaining their emotastic appearances.

4. The Phantom of the Opera from, well, The Phantom of the Opera - Do I even have to explain why it's on the list? Everyone knows this song. And in many ways, that's part of it's awesome- the fact that everyone recognizes it's opening chords.

3. AC/DC from Starlight Express - I, being the epitome of maturity, went and counted all the questionable innuendos in this song. In less than a three minute period, I counted 14, 9 if you don't count the ones that were repeated. Heck, even the title. The title. Now, you'd think this would draw away from it's charm. But not only does this song have an ridiculously catchy beat, clever lyrics, and awesome backup singers, it was sung by the gorgeousness that is John Partridge. So maybe I'm just suffering from swoon bias, but this song so deserves it's spot on the list. (Update: I recently bought the piano book for this show, and I realized I missed a big one. There's 10 unrepeated innuendos. Just though you should know.)

2. Defying Gravity from Wicked - Greatest show stopper ever. Seriously. I still get goosebumps when I hear it. Its probably the best pre-intermission song ever. Why? Because, in full representation to the character singing it, it starts out small and builds to something grand and powerful, something worth hearing. I love epiphany songs, and this is easily my favorite of those.

1. Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats - This song is special and I just love it. It comes at a perfect point in the show- it's one of those all hope is lost, the bad guy just kicked out rears moments- when suddenly bang!, the underdog hero and his friend come out and save the day. It's got this wonderful smooth, up-beat jazz tune, the guy who sings it has a beautiful voice, visually the dancing is incredible, and gosh darn it, it just makes you happy.

*Yeah yeah yeah, any show with this marking has an interesting reputation preceding it. Well with the exception of #6, they don't deserve it.

I guess sparkles can be good...

Oh goodness dearie me, I'm back from my blogging hiatus! 'Cause let me tell you, doing two plays in a row (South Pacific, followed immediately by Annie) can really suck the life out of ya. And then, low and behold, I got sick. Seriously, who does that?

Anyway, it's Spring Break, and I now have something commonly referred to as "time". This is actually quite an anomaly for me, so I've decided to just sorta ease into it. But in celebration of this newly discovered "time", I decided to actually blog about something.

Namely, that fact that I TOTALLY SAW THE NATIONAL TOUR OF CATS THE MUSICAL AND IT WAS ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL!!!

*clasps hand over mouth*

*cough cough* Excuse me; brief moment of insanity now over. *shudders* That was weird.

Anyway, the show was awesome in case you hadn't already gathered. I didn't love the vocalists as much as I would have preferred to, (they were still very good however) and the dancing and music was spectacular. Admittedly, I tend to hold an aversion to sparkly beings,

but Mistoffelees was, hands down, my favorite.

Then again, I'm pretty sure he always has been. Anyway, Growltiger and Griddlebone in all their operatic glory were both a close second,
and the fact that that the number isn't in the movie still continues to tragify me.

Remember when I saw Phantom of the Opera? Well this was better. Wicked? Not so sure, but it was definitely its equal, possibly superior. Either way though, Cats was spectacular.

(On a funny note, the fire alarm went off near the end of the first act. It was a false alarm, probably triggered by the fog machine, but it probably couldn't have come at a worse time. I mean, here comes Grizabella, about to sing the only song you've ever heard of from this musical, Memory, and then there's this obnoxious mechanical voice in the background telling you to get the heck out of the theater. Lovely. Aw well, like I said, the show was still terrific.)

















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Ha!

And you thought I was going to talk about Cats and not mention the Rum Tum Tugger. You're so silly, you actually thought I was going to behave all mature like. Ha and double ha!

Although not my favorite representation of him (no one beats the gorgeousness that is John Partridge, ever), the guy was still great. Hilarious too. Mom's gaydar went off, but surprisingly mine didn't, but that's probably because I'd read in the program that the guy, Adam Steiner was his name, was married. To a girl. Which, quite frankly, kinda' makes him a freak of nature. I'm mean, who ever heard of a straight guy playing the Rum Tum Tugger?



I mean really.