(I'll apologize in advance for this being the subject of my first post in months. I'll get to all the important stuff later. But this... was just too good not to share.)
I'll just cut to the chase:
The Breaking Dawn (Part 1) trailer came out the other day.
And I literally laughed out loud.
I can only hope, for the sake of the nice people who made it, that this is a joke and that the movie will not be this hilariously dramatic.
And then there's that part of me that wants it to be terrible, if only for my own amusement.
So congratulations Breaking Dawn movie! You're living up to your expectations just fine.
Showing posts with label Twilight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twilight. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Thursday, July 15, 2010
'Cause I Saw Eclipse
K, I'm about to make a blasphemous statement, so just hold on to your seats alright peeps?
*deep breath* Well... I saw Eclipse... See, now I should just leave it at that and just let you assume the laughs but yeah, okay, that's not exactly fair now is it?
Okay... I can do this. I'd appreciate it if you didn't hate me for this...
Well... Eclipse wasn't really...
Dang, this is more difficult than I thought.
*'nother deep breath* It wasn't that bad.
Woosh, alright. Okay, okay, yes I know, the horror. But, I'm not going to lie and say it was apocalypticly bad when it wasn't.
Now was it good? You'd have to be a fan of the genre to think that. And I'm not. So no, my biased opinion claims nay, but it wasn't painful to watch or anything. How about this: It was decent.
Fair enough?
Now, hold your tomatoes and let me explain why I think this. There were a lot of things about Eclipse the book that I disliked. Lots of random, going nowhere plot points, characters I didn't care about, and, to be perfectly honest, blatant sexism in a few places. Not cool. Not cool at all.
Well, the director of Eclipse must've agreed with me, because he took those things and either quietly did away with them or changed them so they weren't so stupid. For example, *for anyone who actually cares, there's a SPOILER ahead* near the end of the book, Edward and Seth (some werewolf punk) are facing off with an evil vampire who wants to kill Bella. Seth apparently gets injured and things aren't looking so hot for our favorite sparklepire so Bella decides to be all noble and distract the evil vampire by stabbing herself in the heart and letting the blood drive the vampire nuts. if I'm remembering this correctly (I mean, when did I last read the book?) she's stopped somehow, evil vampire dies anyway, and the world is happy. Later, Edwardo gets all PO'd at her and says that Seth was only feigning injury or something and that he himself was fine and she was being stupid and yada yada yada. So, to summarize, Bells (although she approaches it wrong) decides to be useful, and gets blasted for it. The entire scene was useless- it built up to something that didn't actually happen...
In the movie, same scene happens however, Bella is smart and realizes that in cutting yourself, you don't actually have to die, so she cuts her arm instead (she's not stopped, since Edward's in a bit of a scrape), thus distracting the not-so-nice but still sparkly vampire and allowing Edward to remove her of her head. So, same scene, just... smart? Oh yeah, and she doesn't get yelled at for it later either.
Jacob is kind of a tool, but he was a tool in the book too (a distinct contrast from his personality in the second one where he was a goober, but a harmless one- a sign of bad writing indeed) so I can't really fault anyone for that. To be quite frank, in regards to the little love triangle between Edward, Bella, and Jacob, I don't think Bella should have picked either of them. One's a depressing control freak and the other one's a prick. (Seriously, when I guy takes out the engine of your car to prevent you from seeing someone, that really ought to raise a red flag.)
But was it horrible? No, not at all. It was alright. It took the idea of the book, removed all the crap, added a few jokes, and converted it into a movie that won't make your eyes bleed. It was easily better than it's predecessors (not that that's hard, although New Moon wasn't completely awful either, it was just lame) and, although I probably won't watch it again, I can't quite fault anyone for liking it.
Breaking Dawn? Now that I'm excited for. Seriously, that book was bad. I mean, really bad. I'm hoping for a few unintentional laughs if that's-
Wait, it's being directed by Bill Condon? That same guy who did Dreamgirls and Chicago?! Both of which won several Academy Awards?!?!
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, they're copying Harry Potter 7 and splitting it into two movies?
But, but, but, but- WHY???
Nevermind. Not excited. Goodbye.
*deep breath* Well... I saw Eclipse... See, now I should just leave it at that and just let you assume the laughs but yeah, okay, that's not exactly fair now is it?
Okay... I can do this. I'd appreciate it if you didn't hate me for this...
Well... Eclipse wasn't really...
Dang, this is more difficult than I thought.
*'nother deep breath* It wasn't that bad.
Woosh, alright. Okay, okay, yes I know, the horror. But, I'm not going to lie and say it was apocalypticly bad when it wasn't.
Now was it good? You'd have to be a fan of the genre to think that. And I'm not. So no, my biased opinion claims nay, but it wasn't painful to watch or anything. How about this: It was decent.
Fair enough?
Now, hold your tomatoes and let me explain why I think this. There were a lot of things about Eclipse the book that I disliked. Lots of random, going nowhere plot points, characters I didn't care about, and, to be perfectly honest, blatant sexism in a few places. Not cool. Not cool at all.
Well, the director of Eclipse must've agreed with me, because he took those things and either quietly did away with them or changed them so they weren't so stupid. For example, *for anyone who actually cares, there's a SPOILER ahead* near the end of the book, Edward and Seth (some werewolf punk) are facing off with an evil vampire who wants to kill Bella. Seth apparently gets injured and things aren't looking so hot for our favorite sparklepire so Bella decides to be all noble and distract the evil vampire by stabbing herself in the heart and letting the blood drive the vampire nuts. if I'm remembering this correctly (I mean, when did I last read the book?) she's stopped somehow, evil vampire dies anyway, and the world is happy. Later, Edwardo gets all PO'd at her and says that Seth was only feigning injury or something and that he himself was fine and she was being stupid and yada yada yada. So, to summarize, Bells (although she approaches it wrong) decides to be useful, and gets blasted for it. The entire scene was useless- it built up to something that didn't actually happen...
In the movie, same scene happens however, Bella is smart and realizes that in cutting yourself, you don't actually have to die, so she cuts her arm instead (she's not stopped, since Edward's in a bit of a scrape), thus distracting the not-so-nice but still sparkly vampire and allowing Edward to remove her of her head. So, same scene, just... smart? Oh yeah, and she doesn't get yelled at for it later either.
Jacob is kind of a tool, but he was a tool in the book too (a distinct contrast from his personality in the second one where he was a goober, but a harmless one- a sign of bad writing indeed) so I can't really fault anyone for that. To be quite frank, in regards to the little love triangle between Edward, Bella, and Jacob, I don't think Bella should have picked either of them. One's a depressing control freak and the other one's a prick. (Seriously, when I guy takes out the engine of your car to prevent you from seeing someone, that really ought to raise a red flag.)
But was it horrible? No, not at all. It was alright. It took the idea of the book, removed all the crap, added a few jokes, and converted it into a movie that won't make your eyes bleed. It was easily better than it's predecessors (not that that's hard, although New Moon wasn't completely awful either, it was just lame) and, although I probably won't watch it again, I can't quite fault anyone for liking it.
Breaking Dawn? Now that I'm excited for. Seriously, that book was bad. I mean, really bad. I'm hoping for a few unintentional laughs if that's-
Wait, it's being directed by Bill Condon? That same guy who did Dreamgirls and Chicago?! Both of which won several Academy Awards?!?!
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, they're copying Harry Potter 7 and splitting it into two movies?
But, but, but, but- WHY???
Nevermind. Not excited. Goodbye.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
My ACT Adventure
As you probably gathered from the title, I took the ACT test. And let me tell you, it was.... interesting.
Saturday: April 10th:
5:05 AM- My alarm clock starts blaring annoyingly. I shut it off, and mentally smack myself for forgetting to turn it off.
6:45 AM- My mother enters my room and wakes me up. Sorta. But I, being a teenager...
7:00 AM- ...take at least 10-15 minutes longer than the rest of the world to actually become conscious.
7:15 AM- I'm totally prettied up and ready to leave.
7:25 AM- Mom and I drive through McDonald's for breakfast. I marvel at just how greasy the wrapper is.
7:35 AM- I arrive at the school giving the test.
7:36 AM- I'm really mad about how long the line is to register. I mean seriously, it's fifty feet long and I'm a half hour early!
7:37 AM- I text my friend. WTF R U?!?!????
7:39 AM- I spot the friend in question. She's 49 feet ahead of me in line.
7:55 AM- I finally reach the registration desk. So far, so good.
8:08 AM- One of my buddies asks me to check the time. We all wonder why in the heck we havn't been let into the building, despite being 8 minutes overtime.
8:10 AM- Two of my friends, one wearing a Team Edward shirt, the other sporting Team Jacob, start dissing the other's clothing.
8:11 AM- I bring up Jacob's airbrushed abs and Edward's unnervingly bi-colored nipples. Neither of them can disagree.
8:20 AM- We're finally let into the test center and split up into rooms. Only one of my friends is with me.
8:30 AM- We're assigned seats and given a booklet and answer document. We're then informed we have to wait some more because two of the peeps in our room haven't arrived yet.
8:45 AM- We start without them.
9:00 AM- We finally- finally- get through filling out the stupid thing and hearing the proctor read the instructions 36 times. I open my booklet...
9:02 AM- I realize, with joy, that the entire first section is on grammar. I smile, knowing this will be a breeze.
9:17 AM- The freaking "Hosanna" song from Jesus Christ Superstar is stuck in my head. It's very distracting.
9:45 AM- The proctor announces it's time to stop testing. I'm happy, because I finished 5 minutes ago and seriously knew the answer to every single one. Yay for potential scholarships.
9:46 AM- I realize, amusingly, that none of the students will stand up during the short break between tests unless someone else does it first. Tired of sitting, I decide to be that someone.
9:55 AM- The math test is next. I mentally groan.
9:56 AM- I realize delightfully that I know how to do the first problem. Maybe this won't be so bad afterall.
9:57 AM- Nevermind. It's bad.
10:21 AM- This time, "One Song Glory" from Rent is playing in my head. Strangely, it's the German version that keeps running through, which is actually good. The words don't distract me so much (since I can't, you know, understand them) and, as much as I love Adam Pascal from the English one, nothing beats Roger when he's played by the gorgeousness that is John Partridge. 'Cept for maybe when he was Electra. Or maybe when he was in that opera. That was in German too...
10:22 AM- I realize I should probably be focusing on irrational numbers as opposed to irrational loves...
10:55 AM- The test is over. My brain starts to melt out my ears.
10:56 AM- We're allowed to wander the hallways for ten minutes and get our minds off the test. It doesn't work.
11:08 AM- My friend and I creep back into the testing room and pray that the proctor lady doesn't notice we were late. She doesn't.
11:09 AM- As the teacher continues explaining the ridiculous amount of rules surrounding the test, my mind starts to wander. I think about how grateful I am that, despite the minor distractions the previous songs in my head had caused, there hadn't yet been anything detrimentally annoying or distracting lodged in there yet. Such as "Sweet Trans-" Crap. No. Get out!
11:10 AM- Start on the reading comprehension test. No big deal right? Sure, until you factor in that we only have 35 minutes. And 40 questions. Which, you know, wouldn't be a big deal (we had like 70 questions and 45 minutes for the grammar test) 'cept we have to read some stupid 2 page essay before answering the questions. And there's like 5 of them. Whee...
11:28 AM- The proctor announces the halfway point. I realize, in surprise and horror (Rocky Horror that is, 'cause that song is still there), that I'm exactly halfway done and had better get a move on if I'm going to finish with any time left over.
11: 35 AM- Shut up Tim Curry. Just shut up.*
11: 45 AM- The reading comprehension test is over. And oh my gosh my heart is pounding. I seriously was like speeding. See, I probably would have done great if they'd, you know, not given me less than a minute per question maybe? I mean really guys. Ridiculous.
11: 46 AM- Eh, the science test. I'm not worried. More curious than anything. 'Cause seriously, what's even going to be on it?
11:47 AM- Aw fudgemonkey. Graphs. So no, it's not science. It's basically math comprehension. Which I suppose is appropriate since the previous was reading comprehension, but still. Come on.
12:01 PM- Oh my gosh. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. I am so behind.
12:07 PM- Have finally accepted that I'm not actually going to finish in time. Time to make pictures with the bubble answers!
12:08 PM- I've decided drawing pictures probably isn't the best way to fudge on a college entrance exam...
12:10 PM- Have resorted to simply skipping all the questions I don't know. Might as well do what I can right?
12:13 PM- Realize that my blood sugar has dropped to "eat you moron, or you're gonna collapse" level.
12:20 PM- The time is up for the "science" test. And if you thought my heart rate has high before...
12:21 PM- Our booklets are collected. We're allowed a few minutes break before the essay portion.
12:30 PM- The essay prompt is passed out, but it's sealed shut. I pray that it's actually something I care about.
12:31 PM-(The following portion has been deleted due to the fact that I'm not supposed to disclose the topic for the essay. Yeah stupid, I know, but I'd like my test to be valid thank you very much.)
12:55 PM- I'm done with the essay, and darn if it weren't easy.
1:00 PM- Time is up for the essay. Suddenly it dawns on me- I'm done. I'm free!
1:01 PM- I'm not free. 'Cause I still have to wait for mom to show up...
1:08 PM- K, I'm free. For realz this time. And oh my gosh I'm exhausted. I realize that my plans for finishing my homework this evening are probably null and void...
1:15 PM- Mommy and I eat at Chipotle. And it's delicious. Also, we feed the little birdies some rice. And it's cute to watch them.
Whew, and that's it. Let us pray I never have to do it again...
*No offense to Tim Curry. I usually like him. It's just that, at that moment, he was singing what will go down in history as probably the most distracting song in the history of the universe. Sorry Dr. Frank, but your song has no melody.
Saturday: April 10th:
5:05 AM- My alarm clock starts blaring annoyingly. I shut it off, and mentally smack myself for forgetting to turn it off.
6:45 AM- My mother enters my room and wakes me up. Sorta. But I, being a teenager...
7:00 AM- ...take at least 10-15 minutes longer than the rest of the world to actually become conscious.
7:15 AM- I'm totally prettied up and ready to leave.
7:25 AM- Mom and I drive through McDonald's for breakfast. I marvel at just how greasy the wrapper is.
7:35 AM- I arrive at the school giving the test.
7:36 AM- I'm really mad about how long the line is to register. I mean seriously, it's fifty feet long and I'm a half hour early!
7:37 AM- I text my friend. WTF R U?!?!????
7:39 AM- I spot the friend in question. She's 49 feet ahead of me in line.
7:55 AM- I finally reach the registration desk. So far, so good.
8:08 AM- One of my buddies asks me to check the time. We all wonder why in the heck we havn't been let into the building, despite being 8 minutes overtime.
8:10 AM- Two of my friends, one wearing a Team Edward shirt, the other sporting Team Jacob, start dissing the other's clothing.
8:11 AM- I bring up Jacob's airbrushed abs and Edward's unnervingly bi-colored nipples. Neither of them can disagree.
8:20 AM- We're finally let into the test center and split up into rooms. Only one of my friends is with me.
8:30 AM- We're assigned seats and given a booklet and answer document. We're then informed we have to wait some more because two of the peeps in our room haven't arrived yet.
8:45 AM- We start without them.
9:00 AM- We finally- finally- get through filling out the stupid thing and hearing the proctor read the instructions 36 times. I open my booklet...
9:02 AM- I realize, with joy, that the entire first section is on grammar. I smile, knowing this will be a breeze.
9:17 AM- The freaking "Hosanna" song from Jesus Christ Superstar is stuck in my head. It's very distracting.
9:45 AM- The proctor announces it's time to stop testing. I'm happy, because I finished 5 minutes ago and seriously knew the answer to every single one. Yay for potential scholarships.
9:46 AM- I realize, amusingly, that none of the students will stand up during the short break between tests unless someone else does it first. Tired of sitting, I decide to be that someone.
9:55 AM- The math test is next. I mentally groan.
9:56 AM- I realize delightfully that I know how to do the first problem. Maybe this won't be so bad afterall.
9:57 AM- Nevermind. It's bad.
10:21 AM- This time, "One Song Glory" from Rent is playing in my head. Strangely, it's the German version that keeps running through, which is actually good. The words don't distract me so much (since I can't, you know, understand them) and, as much as I love Adam Pascal from the English one, nothing beats Roger when he's played by the gorgeousness that is John Partridge. 'Cept for maybe when he was Electra. Or maybe when he was in that opera. That was in German too...
10:22 AM- I realize I should probably be focusing on irrational numbers as opposed to irrational loves...
10:55 AM- The test is over. My brain starts to melt out my ears.
10:56 AM- We're allowed to wander the hallways for ten minutes and get our minds off the test. It doesn't work.
11:08 AM- My friend and I creep back into the testing room and pray that the proctor lady doesn't notice we were late. She doesn't.
11:09 AM- As the teacher continues explaining the ridiculous amount of rules surrounding the test, my mind starts to wander. I think about how grateful I am that, despite the minor distractions the previous songs in my head had caused, there hadn't yet been anything detrimentally annoying or distracting lodged in there yet. Such as "Sweet Trans-" Crap. No. Get out!
11:10 AM- Start on the reading comprehension test. No big deal right? Sure, until you factor in that we only have 35 minutes. And 40 questions. Which, you know, wouldn't be a big deal (we had like 70 questions and 45 minutes for the grammar test) 'cept we have to read some stupid 2 page essay before answering the questions. And there's like 5 of them. Whee...
11:28 AM- The proctor announces the halfway point. I realize, in surprise and horror (Rocky Horror that is, 'cause that song is still there), that I'm exactly halfway done and had better get a move on if I'm going to finish with any time left over.
11: 35 AM- Shut up Tim Curry. Just shut up.*
11: 45 AM- The reading comprehension test is over. And oh my gosh my heart is pounding. I seriously was like speeding. See, I probably would have done great if they'd, you know, not given me less than a minute per question maybe? I mean really guys. Ridiculous.
11: 46 AM- Eh, the science test. I'm not worried. More curious than anything. 'Cause seriously, what's even going to be on it?
11:47 AM- Aw fudgemonkey. Graphs. So no, it's not science. It's basically math comprehension. Which I suppose is appropriate since the previous was reading comprehension, but still. Come on.
12:01 PM- Oh my gosh. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. I am so behind.
12:07 PM- Have finally accepted that I'm not actually going to finish in time. Time to make pictures with the bubble answers!
12:08 PM- I've decided drawing pictures probably isn't the best way to fudge on a college entrance exam...
12:10 PM- Have resorted to simply skipping all the questions I don't know. Might as well do what I can right?
12:13 PM- Realize that my blood sugar has dropped to "eat you moron, or you're gonna collapse" level.
12:20 PM- The time is up for the "science" test. And if you thought my heart rate has high before...
12:21 PM- Our booklets are collected. We're allowed a few minutes break before the essay portion.
12:30 PM- The essay prompt is passed out, but it's sealed shut. I pray that it's actually something I care about.
12:31 PM-(The following portion has been deleted due to the fact that I'm not supposed to disclose the topic for the essay. Yeah stupid, I know, but I'd like my test to be valid thank you very much.)
12:55 PM- I'm done with the essay, and darn if it weren't easy.
1:00 PM- Time is up for the essay. Suddenly it dawns on me- I'm done. I'm free!
1:01 PM- I'm not free. 'Cause I still have to wait for mom to show up...
1:08 PM- K, I'm free. For realz this time. And oh my gosh I'm exhausted. I realize that my plans for finishing my homework this evening are probably null and void...
1:15 PM- Mommy and I eat at Chipotle. And it's delicious. Also, we feed the little birdies some rice. And it's cute to watch them.
Whew, and that's it. Let us pray I never have to do it again...
*No offense to Tim Curry. I usually like him. It's just that, at that moment, he was singing what will go down in history as probably the most distracting song in the history of the universe. Sorry Dr. Frank, but your song has no melody.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/news/2010-03-30-breetanner30_ST_N.htmJust... no. Just no.
Oh, and this gem:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0759529434?ie=UTF8&tag=stepheniemeye-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0759529434I say we drive a stake through this once and for all. *Sigh*
This thing just won't die will it?
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Random Blurb: Opinions
So have you ever noticed that there are some subjects that, no matter whom you speak to, people always have an opinion on it? And it's rarely an indifferent opinion, they either love it or hate it. I've compiled a short list of a few I notice in my everyday life...
1. President Obama
Might as well start with the elephant in the room. Overall, this is a rather touchy one simply because most every person I've spoken to either thinks he's the savior of our country who will bring upon a new era of peace and prosperity, or thinks he's some sort of anti-christ who will destroy our country/world. Personally I think either philosophy is ridiculous but whatever. I often have a funny feeling that I'm one of the few people in the world who actually is indifferent. And for me to not have an opinion on something- that's kind of a big deal.
2. Twilight
Aw good ol' Twilight. We've had many a laugh, it and me. Although that generally consisted of me laughing at it as it yelled things like OMG EDWARD IS SOOOOOO HAWTT!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!11111
Yeah, you get the picture. Anyway, there are lovers, and then there are Twilighters, the ones who spout out quotes such as "You're exactly my brand of heroin" that in a normal society would get them arrested.. And on the opposite side, there are those who love to flame Twilight Lexicon's chatroom with pro-Harry Potter propaganda. It's a seemingly never ending war that simply can never be won.
3. Cats the musical
There are, quite simply, two kinds of people in the world. Those who love Cats, and those who find it just too odd. (There's also a lesser mentioned third party, those who haven't heard about it, but we'll skip them for arguments sake.) This is how a typical conversation between a pro and an anti might go...
Pro: I love Cats the musical!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The music is superb and unique!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The dancing is so talented!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The story is so deep!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The costumes are so cool!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The Rum Tum Tugger is so hot!
Anti: But it's weird...
Need I say more?
4. PETA
... ...I'm not even going to elaborate on this one...
5. Violent Video Games
To the animal rights groups who said Super Mario Brothers abused turtles, to the women's rights groups who said Grand Theft Auto was mean to hookers, such a controvery should have been long seen coming. I mean, people will complain about anything if it gives them 5 minutes on TV and free pizza.
There are those who say it's good for three years olds to shoot old ladies on the street as they push A several times in an attempt to steal her purse, and then there's those who claim that if you even consider smacking a pixelated hungry tiger, you will undoubtedly become a serial killer. Undoubtedly.
So is there a point to all this? I think it's that the Rum Tum Tugger really is kind of hot...
But maybe that's just me.
1. President Obama
Might as well start with the elephant in the room. Overall, this is a rather touchy one simply because most every person I've spoken to either thinks he's the savior of our country who will bring upon a new era of peace and prosperity, or thinks he's some sort of anti-christ who will destroy our country/world. Personally I think either philosophy is ridiculous but whatever. I often have a funny feeling that I'm one of the few people in the world who actually is indifferent. And for me to not have an opinion on something- that's kind of a big deal.
2. Twilight
Aw good ol' Twilight. We've had many a laugh, it and me. Although that generally consisted of me laughing at it as it yelled things like OMG EDWARD IS SOOOOOO HAWTT!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!11111
Yeah, you get the picture. Anyway, there are lovers, and then there are Twilighters, the ones who spout out quotes such as "You're exactly my brand of heroin" that in a normal society would get them arrested.. And on the opposite side, there are those who love to flame Twilight Lexicon's chatroom with pro-Harry Potter propaganda. It's a seemingly never ending war that simply can never be won.
3. Cats the musical
There are, quite simply, two kinds of people in the world. Those who love Cats, and those who find it just too odd. (There's also a lesser mentioned third party, those who haven't heard about it, but we'll skip them for arguments sake.) This is how a typical conversation between a pro and an anti might go...
Pro: I love Cats the musical!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The music is superb and unique!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The dancing is so talented!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The story is so deep!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The costumes are so cool!
Anti: But it's weird...
Pro: The Rum Tum Tugger is so hot!
Anti: But it's weird...
Need I say more?
4. PETA
... ...I'm not even going to elaborate on this one...
5. Violent Video Games
To the animal rights groups who said Super Mario Brothers abused turtles, to the women's rights groups who said Grand Theft Auto was mean to hookers, such a controvery should have been long seen coming. I mean, people will complain about anything if it gives them 5 minutes on TV and free pizza.
There are those who say it's good for three years olds to shoot old ladies on the street as they push A several times in an attempt to steal her purse, and then there's those who claim that if you even consider smacking a pixelated hungry tiger, you will undoubtedly become a serial killer. Undoubtedly.
So is there a point to all this? I think it's that the Rum Tum Tugger really is kind of hot...
But maybe that's just me.
Monday, June 1, 2009
So, I have a problem...
It's called "the last twenty seconds or so of this trailer actually look really cool"...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSFMmkMfQ5Q
What do you guys think?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSFMmkMfQ5Q
What do you guys think?
Friday, April 24, 2009
Book Review: Breaking Dawn
*Note, this entire review is filled to the brim with spoilers. It was simply unavoidable. As a result, I'm warning you now.*
During this book, each of the major characters changes into something they probably didn't really imagine themselves becoming. For example, Bella Swan becomes a necrophiliac. Jacob Black becomes a pedophile. Edward Cullen becomes a pimp.
THE BASICS: Our favorite hybrid couple tie the knot within one hundred pages of the book's beginning. Most lame romances end there. But no, "Breaking Dawn" chose to be special and drag on for another 500 pages- none of which included anything even remotely important. It's the equivalent of crashing your car and then being forced to stay in it as it catches on fire and slowly burns you.
This book is ridiculous. Instead of reviewing it intelligently and properly, I'm just going to give a list of some of the more stupid events that occur...
-Bella gets pregnant
-The baby, when born, is named Renesmee
-Jacob falls in love with the baby
-Bella, when finally vamped, has no struggle whatsoever with controlling her thirst for blood
-The baby grows ultra fast, is super smart, has superpowers, is illegally beautiful, and is absolutely perfect in every single fricken way
-The Volturi (the self-proclaimed rulers of Sparkleville, left previously unmentioned because I assumed them mostly unimportant) come to destroy the baby so the Cullens gather up all their glittering friends and neighbors and prepare for battle...
-...a battle which never actually occurs
-Bella's vampire superpower is, of course, the most powerful ability of all - a completely impenetrable psychic shield that she can make grow and shrink at will
-Everybody lives happily ever freaking after
And yes, these events are all completely accurate. I swear, I did not embellish in the least.
THE CHARACTERS: These people continue to get stupider and stupider. Even the redeemable ones were ruined. That's all I can say in decent company.
TECHNICAL STUFF: The book is divided into three books. The first and third are narrated by Bells. The second is narrated by Jacob, which I say was a fine change of pace. He is, at that time, still uncorrupted by his embarrassingly creepy attachment to his ex-girlfriend's daughter, as the baby was not yet born. But even so, his snarky attitude could only help a bad plot so much.
Also, the foreshadowing was terrible. At the beginning, Swan Princess starts having weird dreams about vampire babies and then goes off on a 10-15 page explanation about where she heard about them and where they came from and what was done to destroy them. Talk about subtle.
THE THEME: I... don't actually know... not that I especially want to...
OVERALL: This book was bad. Actually, it was beyond bad. It was completely awful. Don't ever for any reason read it. Or, for that matter, any of it's predecessors. Because this is where they all inevitably lead. It's not worth your time or your brain cells.
GRADE: F
Questions? Comment? Seriously, I want to hear them!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Book Review: Eclipse
This book succeeds in many ways the previous books fail. There is action and a bit of suspense and all the excitement isn't saved until ending. Unfortunately for it, in other ways the previous books failed, this book fails on even worse. And yes, their are a few mild spoilers coming up.
THE BASICS: If you thought Bella Swan was clingy to her leech boyfriend before, then wow, are you going to be impressed to what lengths she goes to to stay with him in this book. Does she cling to him during potentially dangerous "how to kill newborn vampires" training? Of course! Does she remove him from his family during a fierce battle in which they need as many people on their side as possible? Heck yeah! Does she have him follow her to the bathroom? Probably!
But oh no, it's not just Edward she's clinging to. Now she also wants Jacob, her werewolf notboyfriend who adores her and worships the ground she walks on just like everyone else! But oh, woe is her, because she can't decide between the two of them.
*Spoilers* But in other, more exciting news, Victoria (remember her? she was from like, two books ago and then pretty much forgotten about), the vampire who's mate Edward killed in "Twilight", is coming back for revenge. And she's got a whole team of fresh, newly-created on her side. But then of course the entire battle sequence is ruined by Bella's bad narration so that pretty much kills it. *End Spoiler*
THE CHARACTERS: The beings in this book are pretty much as lame and Sue-ish as ever. Jacob however, as it also was in previous books, is the book's one saving grace. His snarky personality and immature insights make him the only realistic person in this book's entire universe.
Also, Edward is as controlling and "perfect" as ever and Bella is still retarded. And the other characters, of which there are, I swear, at least a billion, are still unimportant.
TECHNICAL STUFF: I have nothing new to say on this subject. Except perhaps that the writing style might be getting worse.
THE THEME: It's the same as in "Twilight" really. It's supposedly about true love conquering all but all I got was more angsty teenagers being angsty. *Spoiler* Also, there's a part neat the end where Bella's about to sacrifice herself to distract the bad vamps to save her favorite discoball. But instead of being written as courageous and heroic, it written as your basic suicidal teen being dumber than usual. *End Spoiler*
OVERALL: Bleh and more bleh. And snore. Seriously, I feel like I've read this before. Oh wait, I have. It's called "Twilight", you know, the first book in the series? They're basically exactly the same. This is where the series started dragging, so I stopped being quite as neutral in my opinion of it.
GRADE: D
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Book Review: New Moon
Once again, I read this book about a year ago, so if I forget any "important" details (if there are any in that book) then I apologize in advance. Kind of.
NOTE: There is at least one spoiler in this review and so I'll be giving an advanced warning just in case someone actually cares. I'll probably start doing that with all my reviews.
THE BASICS: The book begins with Bella's 18th birthday party which is held at the Cullen's house. Bella, being the idiot she is, lands herself with a papercut from wrapping paper which drives Jasper, one of the many Cullen brothers, bonkers and he attempts to eat her. If only the rest of the book were this happy.
Because of this, Edward decides that it's too dangerous for him to be around Bella anymore so he leaves. And it's just that abrupt. He pulls her aside one day, tells her he's leaving, and then boom, he's gone. No more sparklpire.
Bella then isolates herself from all her friends for a few months and becomes totally emo in her grief for Edward's departure (and I am not exaggerating that. She seriously stays depressed for months). She is, however, drawn out of her emoness by her friend Jacob Black, who was in the first book but no one actually payed attention to that. But of course, Bella attracts mythical monsters, so it all goes downhill from there.
TECHNICAL STUFF: This book suffers from the same flaws as it's predecessor- namely, the narration sucks. I am eternally grateful, however, that we weren't forced to sit through the entire Bella emo moments.
THE THEME: This time, the message is a little more positive than the one given in Twilight simply due to the fact that Edward barely makes and appearance. But even so, his influence is reeked throughout. Bella's depression over him leaving is depressing. It also ground in the fact that without him, Bella Sue has nothing. She'd isolated herself from her friends because he didn't like them, she had a shaky relationship with her dad from all the lying done about him, and she had no hobbies that didn't include him. He'd had complete control over her life.
OVERALL: This book is very different from it's predecessor in the sense that there's very little lovey-doveyness in it. As a result, I can't really say whether it's better or worse. Jacob Black, Bella's new friend, is a surprisingly well written character and the saving value to this book. Without him, the story would have been boring as heck. *Spoilers* Equipped with both snark and werewolfness, he's a perfect rival to Edward's "perfection" and vampireness. *End Spoiler*
GRADE: C
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Book Review: Twilight
I probably should have done this when I first read the book about a year ago. But hey, better late than never right? And with the movie about to come out on DVD, what better time to discuss the book?
NOTE: There will be spoilers in this review. If for some reason you haven't read them or at least don't know the story, you may not want to continue reading.
THE BASICS: Twilight, begins about the same way as the Twilight movie, namely, some angsty teenage girl named Isabella Swan, Bella for short, who is pretty and perfect moves in with her father for unknown reasons and hates her new life, despite the fact that she chose to go there, and hates the people 'cause they're so dang friendly. Until one day, she meets this emo, pale looking boy who always talks about her death and how dangerous he is. He is, and I quote, a "god-like", "gorgeous", and "spawn of Adonis" type being and we are annoyingly reminded of that fact ever other paragraph (and I am not kidding on that). Also, he's a vampire who wants to eat her. I don't know about you, but this would kind of turn me off.
But of course, Bella, being obviously retarded, falls in love with him and declares that she "can't live without him" and Edward, as the emo vamp is called, feels the same way. They've seen each other for little over a month when that statement is said.
TECHNICAL STUFF: Despite being around 600 pages long, this book can be swallowed in less than a day. One, because it's in large print, and two, because the writing is disturbingly simple. Reading this book, I felt I was being talked down to. The word usage is...... questionable. It felt like the author went through with a thesaurus and just changed all the words to something fancy.
THE THEME: This book has a surprisingly negative message it's giving to people, young girls especially, as they are the target audience. I think the message the author was trying to give was the basic "true love conquers all" type thing and, while this does kind of work when forcibly inserted, the message I got was completely different. Bella's life completely circled around Edward. All her time was spent with him or thinking about him and all her hobbies had something to do with him. Edward however, did have hobbies and had a life, however drab and mellow. He made all the decision and, if Bella ever disagreed, he would woo her into seeing it his way. This screams abusive relationship. Now, perhaps if this had been an actual plot device and the author had used this, then I would have been ok with it. Because it wouldn't have been so masked in fluff and romance. Now, what is this teaching little preteen girls?
OVERALL: I don't hate this book. While it's kind of stupid at times, it has it's clever vices. Also, the mythology is very interesting. With the exception of the "glittering" I think it's almost better than normal mythos. Is the book good? No. It's actually really bad. Not apocalypticly bad though ( I reserve that title for some of the other in the series). But it really tries to be liked, and in that it succeeds more than it fails.
GRADE: C
NOTE: There will be spoilers in this review. If for some reason you haven't read them or at least don't know the story, you may not want to continue reading.
THE BASICS: Twilight, begins about the same way as the Twilight movie, namely, some angsty teenage girl named Isabella Swan, Bella for short, who is pretty and perfect moves in with her father for unknown reasons and hates her new life, despite the fact that she chose to go there, and hates the people 'cause they're so dang friendly. Until one day, she meets this emo, pale looking boy who always talks about her death and how dangerous he is. He is, and I quote, a "god-like", "gorgeous", and "spawn of Adonis" type being and we are annoyingly reminded of that fact ever other paragraph (and I am not kidding on that). Also, he's a vampire who wants to eat her. I don't know about you, but this would kind of turn me off.
But of course, Bella, being obviously retarded, falls in love with him and declares that she "can't live without him" and Edward, as the emo vamp is called, feels the same way. They've seen each other for little over a month when that statement is said.
TECHNICAL STUFF: Despite being around 600 pages long, this book can be swallowed in less than a day. One, because it's in large print, and two, because the writing is disturbingly simple. Reading this book, I felt I was being talked down to. The word usage is...... questionable. It felt like the author went through with a thesaurus and just changed all the words to something fancy.
THE THEME: This book has a surprisingly negative message it's giving to people, young girls especially, as they are the target audience. I think the message the author was trying to give was the basic "true love conquers all" type thing and, while this does kind of work when forcibly inserted, the message I got was completely different. Bella's life completely circled around Edward. All her time was spent with him or thinking about him and all her hobbies had something to do with him. Edward however, did have hobbies and had a life, however drab and mellow. He made all the decision and, if Bella ever disagreed, he would woo her into seeing it his way. This screams abusive relationship. Now, perhaps if this had been an actual plot device and the author had used this, then I would have been ok with it. Because it wouldn't have been so masked in fluff and romance. Now, what is this teaching little preteen girls?
OVERALL: I don't hate this book. While it's kind of stupid at times, it has it's clever vices. Also, the mythology is very interesting. With the exception of the "glittering" I think it's almost better than normal mythos. Is the book good? No. It's actually really bad. Not apocalypticly bad though ( I reserve that title for some of the other in the series). But it really tries to be liked, and in that it succeeds more than it fails.
GRADE: C
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Why I Didn't Like the "Twilight" Movie
I've probably already risked my life in just mentioning the above word in a disparaging way. So heck, since I'm already going to die, I might as well keep going.
The other day, I saw the "Twilight" movie for the first time in the dollar theater. I'm not a huge fan of the books, (that's a post for another day) but I was willing to be entertained by the movie nonetheless. Man oh man, that movie was bad. It wasn't obnoxiously bad so I don't hate it but wow, for a movie about forbidden love and basic teenage angst, it sure was boring. I can honestly say that nothing interesting happened until the end, and by that point, it was too late.
For those who have been living under a rock for the past four years, "Twilight" is about a girl named Mary-Sue, *cough* excuse me, I mean Bella Swan, who goes across the country, for reason pretty much unexplained, to live with her dad in Forks, Washington. She is pretty and perfect and hates her new school because all the people are so dang friendly and nice and just won't leave her along long enough for her to cry her little emo tears. Until one day, she sees this totally hot pale guy who gives her death glares and talks frequently about killing her. *Spoiler* He's a vampire. Oh dang.
Anyway, the music score was over-dramatic, the acting was, at times, laughable, and the story felt lacking. This is suppose to be an emotionaly charged story. So why was there so little emotion?
The other day, I saw the "Twilight" movie for the first time in the dollar theater. I'm not a huge fan of the books, (that's a post for another day) but I was willing to be entertained by the movie nonetheless. Man oh man, that movie was bad. It wasn't obnoxiously bad so I don't hate it but wow, for a movie about forbidden love and basic teenage angst, it sure was boring. I can honestly say that nothing interesting happened until the end, and by that point, it was too late.
For those who have been living under a rock for the past four years, "Twilight" is about a girl named Mary-Sue, *cough* excuse me, I mean Bella Swan, who goes across the country, for reason pretty much unexplained, to live with her dad in Forks, Washington. She is pretty and perfect and hates her new school because all the people are so dang friendly and nice and just won't leave her along long enough for her to cry her little emo tears. Until one day, she sees this totally hot pale guy who gives her death glares and talks frequently about killing her. *Spoiler* He's a vampire. Oh dang.
Anyway, the music score was over-dramatic, the acting was, at times, laughable, and the story felt lacking. This is suppose to be an emotionaly charged story. So why was there so little emotion?
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
K This is just weird...
http://community.livejournal.com/twilight_crafts/42839.html
If that isn't creepy then I don't know what is...
If that isn't creepy then I don't know what is...
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