Random Blurb: Fan Fiction - Part 1

(If you're unfamiliar with the term, do watch this video:

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail188.html

I think it sums it up pretty well.)

But for those of you who do know, I think we can all join together and scream in unison. Let's begin now...



















Keep on going...




















Just let all those pent up feelings out...

























K, you can stop now.

But seriously, shudder inducing. My goodness, the things I do for you people. I mean, here I am, innocently trying to rack out my brains in an attempt to write about something remotely hilarious when the thought pops in: fan fiction. It gets a pretty bad rap right? Maybe something humorous could be found in there.

Also, I admit it, my own curiosity fueled it somewhat too. I mean, it couldn't be that bad, right?

Ugh, my own naivety kills me at times. I mean, just... wow. Just wow.

But okay, lets be fair. Sturgeon's Law, which basically states that 90% of everything is crap, still applies. That means that every so often you can dig through said pile of crap and find the occasional gleaming, and well-received gem that is not pure suckary. There are some fan fictions that are actually (can't believe I'm saying this...) kind... of............. *deep breath* good. There I said it. There were an amazing few that were great and perhaps even better than the original show/book/whatever thing they were based on.

But they were few and far between! My goodness gracious, you would not believe the idiocy that gets "published". I could seriously feel my brain cells slowly melting. The grammar nut inside me now has clinical depression. And I just felt.... dumb.

Anyway, so I, having decided to undertake this hopeless quest, ventured straight into the black heart of all fan fics:

*kindly say the next phrase with an evil, creepy voice*

Fanfiction.net. Muhahaha!

*Shudders* Anyway, there was so much to see! So many genres to peruse, so many stories to read! And I tell you, they have everything. Everything. You want superheros? There's a whole comic book section. Animaniacs? Take a gander under the link titled "Cartoons". Ya want Winnie-the-Pooh teams up with Mulder and Scully and battles against the Wizard of Oz? Do check out the "X-over" section on your way out. It's quite a treat, I assure you.

I headed straight over to the video game section of course, and the section titled "Zelda" almost immediately caught my attention. And once I got there, I had an array of specifications I could make. I could set the rating, length, genre, even characters I wanted to see.

And so, I began. I read, laughed, marveled at the stupidity, and various variations of those things. I took a glance at the clock...

...and three hours had gone by.

*Stay tuned for the rest of the adventure in Part 2*

Up there on the "Bestest Updates Evar!" list...

I sincerely apologize for my unexplained leave of absence. You know how some people do "research" before writing something funny/useless? Well, I decided to try that out and have had some... humorous results. You'll get that update soon enough.

But I'm also lazy. That's not really a secret.

Anyway, things have been cool. I've been seeing a boatload of live plays lately. Seriously. I mean, just this last weekend, I saw this hilarious spoof-melodrama called "Because Their Hearts Were Pure", an adorable version of "Robin Hood", and...

*Drum roll ensues*

Phantom of the Opera at Gammage!

And, let me tell you, it was AMAZING!

Oh goodness it was incredible. I could rant about it all day, but I'll spare you. There's more important things to be done.

Random Blurb: Childhood Crushes

Aw young love. It really is rather sweet at times. That doesn't mean I can't still make fun of it.

I was babysitting once for four little girls, aged from 6 months to nine years old. Their obsession with certain male Disney Channel Starz unknown to me, I made the unfortunate mistake of showing them IMDB.com, which is, for those who may not know, a site that has details and pictures for pretty much every celebrity to grace the screen. I was promptly shoved aside as they looked up Joe Jonas, Zac Efron, and others along that same line. They literally, and I'm serious, screamed when they saw them. (Including the baby, but I don't think that had anything to do with translucent, nasally-voiced male pop "singers".)

My point is, I don't get it. Seriously I don't. Maybe I was just some sort of dud who's first real crush came in the 8th grade. Am I the weird one?

The elder of my younger sisters has fallen prey to this phenomena as well, (Hopefully she isn't reading this right now...) albeit not with Disney Starz, thank goodness. Naw, she focuses on real boys.

(I won't elaborate further on that subject. I don't want to wish certain death upon myself just yet.)

I suppose I am being somewhat hypocritical. I guess I did have somewhat of a celebrity "crush" at about age four. However, for me, a "crush", if that's what is was, consisted of me thinking not that the individual was "cute" but "cool". I didn't want to meet him, I wanted to be him. Emulate him.

Looking back at my own naivety, I now see the irony of this philosophy...



Look, I was FOUR! I didn't understand the disturbingly lurid overtones! I just thought he had a cool costume!

And, if I might retain some dignity by the end of this post, I hold that John Partridge still sings better than Joe Jonas.

So there.

Yet Another "I'm Not Dead" Update...

Yeah, I really got nothin' to say. I mean, Fall Break, but whatever. I guess that fact that it ends on Tuesday is lame.

That's all.

Book Review: Capt Hook

Prequels are becoming rather popular aren't they? Especially ones not written by the original author. Nine times out of ten, they're boring, read like fan fiction, and are just generally horrible.

Sorry to disappoint the fans of the reviews of horrible books, but this was the exception.

THE BASICS: Our story begins with a fifteen year old James Matthew, illegitimate son of Lord "B", as he is only known to us as, leaving for Eton, a rather prestigious school. He's as cocky and proud as a young man can get, having perfect confidence in himself and in his plans, whether that be winning a "wall game", kidnapping a Sultana or initiating a mutiny on his own father's ship. And yet despite what you might thing about Hook-to-be...

THE CHARACTERS: ...he never comes off as obnoxious or annoying. Which is so appreciated. Spoiled protagonists spoil the show. Instead, he has to work hard and suffer for his mistakes. But he refuses to ever give up and surrender is never an option. He's not a bad guy, but he's certainly not a good one either.

TECHNICAL STUFF: There's several instances of violence, gore, and terror that could have very well been exploited and blown out of proportion. But our lovely author, J V Hart, has intelligently remembered that Peter Pan was a children's book, and so, this must be too. His writing style is humorous and frank, but he graciously skims over the more disturbing details while still keeping up with the mischievous tone.

(FYI I'm as much a fan of horror novels as the next person, my favorite book is Hannibal afterall, but not in kid's books. Excessive violence probably shouldn't be there.)

THE THEME: "Never give up" certainly sounds cheesy, but I suppose that really is what this book is all about.

OVERALL: I seriously love this book. I think I say that a lot, but I really do. Love this book I mean. What do I love about it? I love the details, I love the characters, I love the intelligent* foreshadowings and references to it's predecessor it presents, and, most of all, I love the story. It's just so different. Just, wow. Go read it.

GRADE: A

Would I let my sister read it? Yes
Would I let my cousin read it? Most certainly, I'll be recommending it to him actually.
Would I let my dad read it? Yes

*Random note: I tell you, I'm a sucker for good forshadowing. It makes me happy. I think I shall devote an entire post to it.

Admission For Ash Girl

The price for adults is $5
The price for students (with a student ID) is $4
Children under 10 are free. Although, I'm wondering if children under 10 would even want to come...

The Ash Girl

Many have been asking about all the side notes hinting about a play I'm in. And I've come to tell you all that it is true. I'm in the school play! Not that there really was any question about me making it, but yes, I'm in it!

It's called The Ash Girl and it's basically Cinderella, 'cept it's more like the older, Grimm's version, as opposed to the Disney version. For those of you who don't know what that means, it's somewhat gory, frightening, and just plain creepy. Also, the seven deadly sins are all personified as characters also, which is pretty much awesome. For those of you who don't know what the seven deadly sins are, I'll fill you in:

Slothfulness
Anger
Envy
Gluttony
Pride
Greed &
Lust

I'm the step-mother, who is pretty much the best character. But maybe that's just 'cause I play her. Who knows.

Also, I'm co- in charge of costumes and makeup and let me tell you, there are some serious makeup jobs in this play. And they are all going to be amazing.

Anyway, everyone should come and see it. The dates are September 24, 25, and 26th, and it takes place at the auditorium at my school. I'm pretty sure it's at 7. I don't yet know the prices, but I'll write about that when I know.