http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/news/2010-03-30-breetanner30_ST_N.htm

Just... no. Just no.

Oh, and this gem:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0759529434?ie=UTF8&tag=stepheniemeye-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0759529434

I say we drive a stake through this once and for all. *Sigh*

This thing just won't die will it?

Random Blurb: Fan Fiction - Part 1

(If you're unfamiliar with the term, do watch this video:

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail188.html

I think it sums it up pretty well.)

But for those of you who do know, I think we can all join together and scream in unison. Let's begin now...



















Keep on going...




















Just let all those pent up feelings out...

























K, you can stop now.

But seriously, shudder inducing. My goodness, the things I do for you people. I mean, here I am, innocently trying to rack out my brains in an attempt to write about something remotely hilarious when the thought pops in: fan fiction. It gets a pretty bad rap right? Maybe something humorous could be found in there.

Also, I admit it, my own curiosity fueled it somewhat too. I mean, it couldn't be that bad, right?

Ugh, my own naivety kills me at times. I mean, just... wow. Just wow.

But okay, lets be fair. Sturgeon's Law, which basically states that 90% of everything is crap, still applies. That means that every so often you can dig through said pile of crap and find the occasional gleaming, and well-received gem that is not pure suckary. There are some fan fictions that are actually (can't believe I'm saying this...) kind... of............. *deep breath* good. There I said it. There were an amazing few that were great and perhaps even better than the original show/book/whatever thing they were based on.

But they were few and far between! My goodness gracious, you would not believe the idiocy that gets "published". I could seriously feel my brain cells slowly melting. The grammar nut inside me now has clinical depression. And I just felt.... dumb.

Anyway, so I, having decided to undertake this hopeless quest, ventured straight into the black heart of all fan fics:

*kindly say the next phrase with an evil, creepy voice*

Fanfiction.net. Muhahaha!

*Shudders* Anyway, there was so much to see! So many genres to peruse, so many stories to read! And I tell you, they have everything. Everything. You want superheros? There's a whole comic book section. Animaniacs? Take a gander under the link titled "Cartoons". Ya want Winnie-the-Pooh teams up with Mulder and Scully and battles against the Wizard of Oz? Do check out the "X-over" section on your way out. It's quite a treat, I assure you.

I headed straight over to the video game section of course, and the section titled "Zelda" almost immediately caught my attention. And once I got there, I had an array of specifications I could make. I could set the rating, length, genre, even characters I wanted to see.

And so, I began. I read, laughed, marveled at the stupidity, and various variations of those things. I took a glance at the clock...

...and three hours had gone by.

*Stay tuned for the rest of the adventure in Part 2*

Random Blurb: Childhood Crushes

Aw young love. It really is rather sweet at times. That doesn't mean I can't still make fun of it.

I was babysitting once for four little girls, aged from 6 months to nine years old. Their obsession with certain male Disney Channel Starz unknown to me, I made the unfortunate mistake of showing them IMDB.com, which is, for those who may not know, a site that has details and pictures for pretty much every celebrity to grace the screen. I was promptly shoved aside as they looked up Joe Jonas, Zac Efron, and others along that same line. They literally, and I'm serious, screamed when they saw them. (Including the baby, but I don't think that had anything to do with translucent, nasally-voiced male pop "singers".)

My point is, I don't get it. Seriously I don't. Maybe I was just some sort of dud who's first real crush came in the 8th grade. Am I the weird one?

The elder of my younger sisters has fallen prey to this phenomena as well, (Hopefully she isn't reading this right now...) albeit not with Disney Starz, thank goodness. Naw, she focuses on real boys.

(I won't elaborate further on that subject. I don't want to wish certain death upon myself just yet.)

I suppose I am being somewhat hypocritical. I guess I did have somewhat of a celebrity "crush" at about age four. However, for me, a "crush", if that's what is was, consisted of me thinking not that the individual was "cute" but "cool". I didn't want to meet him, I wanted to be him. Emulate him.

Looking back at my own naivety, I now see the irony of this philosophy...



Look, I was FOUR! I didn't understand the disturbingly lurid overtones! I just thought he had a cool costume!

And, if I might retain some dignity by the end of this post, I hold that John Partridge still sings better than Joe Jonas.

So there.

So, I have a problem...

It's called "the last twenty seconds or so of this trailer actually look really cool"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSFMmkMfQ5Q

What do you guys think?

Shauntel's List of Things She Hates that are Commonly Done in Books and Movies Much to her Endless Annoyance

Writing my review of "Thief of Lives" got me thinking about some of the things I hate in that are commonly done in stories. Unfortunately, I didn't get to talk about them quite as much as I might've liked to in the book review, so I thought I'd just give them their own post. So with much excitement, I present to you "Shauntel's List of Things She Hates that are Commonly Done in Books and Movies Much to her Endless Annoyance".

*Note* This is in no specific order. FYI

*Another Note* The books that are given as examples of something that didn't do whatever thing I was talking about are all ones that seemed to set up for it and then didn't. I didn't just go out and choose some books at random to use as fodder.

1. Predictable Endings
Almost every story you've ever heard of falls into this trap. I always try to guess the end of books and unfortunately, I usually get it right. I may not be able to tell you exactly what occurs and when, but I can usually give you a correct list of who falls in love with who, who dies, if and how the villain will be killed/defeated, etc. The obvious stuff. Now, you might be thinking, "But seriously Shauntel, that's just how stories are nowadays. There are no original ideas left! And it's okay if you can guess the end, it's still fun to read them." Yeah, maybe they're still fun to read. But there are still unused ideas! Originality is key people!

Example of something that did this: Almost everything
Example of something that didn't: Hannibal by Thomas Harris - the only book* in which the ending I predicted was completely wrong.

2. The whole "I love you but we can't be together because it's too dangerous"
That is one of the stupidest and overused plot devices ever invented. I hate it. I really hate it. Why? Because it's just a dumb way for the author to forcefully insert some angst and drama between their two love leads. And all that does is lead to some unnecessary tension and all that does is annoy the heck out of me.

Example of something that did this: Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer
Example of something that didn't: Noble Dead series by Barb & JC Hendee

3. Characters getting needlessly angry at other characters, usually done between love leads, and causing unnecessary plot drama
Oh, how I hate that. Seriously.
When I say "needlessly" I mean something along the lines of "I can't believe you did that 57 years ago! I can never love you the same way again!", or "How could you have lied to me about something as silly and unimportant as that! I can never love you the same way again!", or, by far the most stupid, "I totally saw you doing and you don't even have to explain because I insist upon blowing it needlessly out of proportion! I can never love you the same way again!"

Example of something that did this: Almost any romantic comedy
Example of something that didn't: Thief of Lives by Barb & JC Hendee

This list will undoubtedly be expanding over time. These are just the few I could think of at the moment.

*Although the book had a crazy plot twist at the end, the movie, which I haven't seen, only read the synopsis on the Internet, ended exactly as I had expected the story to.

I love it when book stores make mistakes...

So about a week ago, just a few days before my choir trip (which I will write about soon), I pre-ordered a book online which was due to be released on the 21st, aka tomorrow. Well, it came last Saturday, the 18th. Now, this may seem insignificant, but I'd been looking forward to this book for quite some time, so I was pretty happy about the whole ordeal.

Sadly, I finished the book by Sunday...

Anyway, that was pretty random, but I just had to share it. And yes, I'll probably review this one eventually.

And Thus, Crazyness Ensues

It's been, I don't know, 3 months!! This is very bad. Very bad indeed.

What's funny is that there were many occasions that I actually did try to update. I'd start a post, and then I'd just never finish it...

But, I'm going to try and turn over a new leaf and be more active in blog keeping (funny term eh?) and slowly but steadily catch everyone up to date. Because wow, a LOT has happened. And insane amount. More than I could really write about in one post.

Just for good measure, I'll tell you one of the more obvious things. School. It started. *cue evil music*

Although in all honesty, it's really not all that bad this year. I preferred last year because of the homework load, but this year's still pretty cool. I'm taking choir again (I made the Chamber Choir, the most advanced in the school), I was invited to join the Advanced Yearbook (which I excepted), and I'm taking Honors Biology. I'm really enjoying that. I think I'd like to pursue a career in it. And of course, I'm taking Seminary as well. I think I'm liking it better this year. I don't know why, I just am.

Anyway, that's all with school. For now. I have a really big announcement, but I'll save that for tomorrow. ;)

(And yes, for those of you with morbid senses of humor, I have gotten bloodily injured since the last time I've posted.)